When Norman Wolf thinks of his father, the father from earlier, he sees a man who goes deep into the knee, with both arms swing up and in a high arc roof tiles over a fence poses to his neighbors, standing on a scaffold and starts. For Norman, the father of the epitome was of force. Once he had separated the work as a roofer for almost his thumb, blood everywhere, the mother cried, he had wanted to go to the hospital, but the father, he about wrapped fabric around the thumb, duct tape. With a Shudder, and Proudly watched Norman, a delicate, timid child, his hero.
But when he was nearly eleven, began the Drama.
The Boy is now 26, on the paved square in front of the house, from which the father a brick hurled, a garden table and chairs, and behind it is a well maintained property is situated. There is a swimming pool and a tree adorned with colorful lanterns. Wolf doesn’t live here anymore; he lives, after he was two years in America, in Frankfurt. However, his mother and his brother remained in the house in Karlstein am Main, from the the father 15 years ago, disappeared without a goodbye and without an address.
Together, hushed
The family broke up in the summer of 2004, because the father suffered from addiction to alcohol. All this shouting and all good persuasion not dissuaded him to drink. He was often so drunk that he forgot everything, what he had promised, with the mother there was a lot of dispute. Then he got into a drunk driving accident, lost his drivers license and his Job. Norman says: “I had my room next to the bedroom of my parents, the wall was thin, almost every night I heard my mother cry and scold.“ He also heard how the father swore to change.
But nothing changed.
A reminder especially imprinted: Norman woke up in the middle of the night, because it crashed on the stairs. The father lay there, he stank, he came up the steps is not high. The eleven year old heaved pulled the muscular man up to the top, and pushed him on the Sofa, the slurred, his father: “tell the mother anything.“ Norman said nothing. Not about the Terrible was an integral part of his life. The two years older brother had his Clique, Norman was mostly at home. He wanted to invite other children, despite the swimming pool, attraction in the settlement. Norman stuffed the candy inside was thick.
After another huge fight with the father grabbed a travel bag and never came back. The relief outweighed, at least in the beginning, at all.
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Norman Wolf in 1994 on the back of his father during a Austria holiday. For the child of the father, the epitome of strength and Exuberance.
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Norman’s mother continues to this day. She’s 58, a warm woman: “I wanted to at the time, only that the young can grow up in peace.“ Together hushed to have the father says today son.
Norman has developed to be a teenager with problems. He did not know whether it was the lack of a father or the fact that his classmates made fun of because of his Excess weight. In school, he was bad. Several months after the departure of the father came forward and wanted to meet the son on his twelfth birthday. The mother brought him to the station, he boarded a train, in which the father was already a half-starved man in Jogging pants. Norman did not know what they should talk about. In Aschaffenburg they got off, he got him a computer game as a gift. To took back home, the game is at night in bed. On three more birthdays of the father called. The last Time in may 2009, he was drunk. When Norman asked her where he was, ended with the father talking to us.
“Then there was nothing,“ he says. As the mother wanted a divorce, the police searched for the father and found him not. The mother has been divorced without his signature. In the family, the language regime was considered from now on, “he’s Probably not alive any more.“ For Norman, the name was: He’s dead.
feelings of guilt
If a parent breaks off the contact, the affected children in different ways. Some feel abandoned, anger and disappointment prevail, and complete as much as possible. So it was Norman’s brother. For others, the desire is in the foreground, sometimes feelings of guilt are in the game: “Why didn’t I conduct myself in a way that he stayed?“ So it was Norman. He thought of the father, then, first of all to its power, the Good, the Exuberant.
Once, when he was little, they were at a carnival, at a lottery booth. The sons wanted a life-sized bear, the main prize. The father bought the whole Box. When he thought back years later, felt Norman to the father so close that he almost had to cry.
In the eleventh grade came for the 16-Year-old the break. He now knew so much about loneliness, hurtful Silence, and the Power of the family, that he decided to become a psychologist. He tried hard, managed a high school with a 1.2 grade. Sports began to drift, was slim, studied psychology in Marburg, earned a Bachelor’s degree. On Twitter, he opened the Account, “@your therapist“. “I wanted that people can share here that they have nothing to eat inside.“ He tweeted about depression, bullying and homosexuality, posted encouraging sayings. Some found it pretentious, after all, he still had no therapeutic training. Many found it helpful. 6000 people followed him soon. Then@was looking for “your therapist“ self-help.
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by the end of 2017, the son used Twitter to begin the search for the father who disappeared twelve years earlier
©Sandra shield guard/star
It was at the end of 2017. It was his father. Wolf, who had taken an Au Pair job in Boston and typed in his cell phone: “This is difficult for me, but maybe Twitter can help. I’m looking for my dad. He is homeless and lives in Hamburg. His physical condition is probably very bad. The photo is about a year old. A Retweet would mean to me everything. Thank you!“ He hung a picture that showed a dilapidated Old-money machine in a Bank.
He had long wrestled with. Actually, he wanted to try a new start in America. But there’s something in his head that he could not leave: the call of the father. A man from Hamburg had contacted him shortly before his departure on the phone. He had written, a homeless man asked him for help: He wanted to find his sons. He had called their names and dates of birth. The man had found on Facebook Norman’s phone number.
thousands of Twitter users reacted
What a messaget: The father lived! The mother broke down in tears in fear that the next Drama to start. The brother said he had no interest. Norman asked the Unknown, to allow him a telephone conversation with the father. It went back and forth, until the father turned up, then the mediator was to reach. Because the son came out on Twitter.
December 2017: thousands of Twitter users responded to his Tweet, with sympathy, with curiosity, with their own stories of lost relatives, feelings of guilt, alcohol. The fan base, the “@your therapist“ had built up, quickly grew to 25,000 members. The search began, a kind of “finding Nemo“, the media seized on the matter. Individual Users doubted whether it was all in the spirit of the father. Then a drank from time to time with the father a Cup of coffee reported. A sent a Link to an article that was published in 2010 in the Hamburg homeless sheet of “Hinz & Kunzt“ – as he was told, he rarely drink alcohol and would emigrate loved one to Asia. And, finally, was one among the many, the think seemed to be worthy of it, because he knew that the Wanted had as a child a glass eye. He said: “He is homeless, every day passed out in our Parking lot on a mattress.“ Another man who had lived on the street and the father was able to describe, in a cold rage. With him, Norman remained in contact.
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father and son, 1994. The Boy is no longer in pain later, including that of the father from one day to the other.
©Sandra shield guard/star
He shared everything and all of everything. A tremendous Suction was from his cell phone, he was online all the time, checked the Tweets. He got an inkling that Twitter, for him, could be unmanageable, and had to think of his studies: children of addicted parents are at risk to develop an Addiction. He was quoted at the time: “What would others tell only your close friends, I’m telling the Internet. Negative emotions hurt less when you share it with Thousands of others. No idea what is to come in Germany to me. But I feel safer when people on Twitter to accompany me. Likes against fear.“
In January 2018, he flew to Germany to meet the father. He knew of his responsibility man: The have set up camp in a Bank branch in Hamburg-Hamm.
A cold Saturday morning, Norman took a girlfriend, he was extremely nervous. The father slept on the floor. He wore a wool hat, the Beard grew wild, thick, red nose, bags under the eyes, fly on his neck, he had smelled unpleasant, like a very old man, as one of 54 years. Norman shook him, he could not help, first of all, he recognized the son. But then. “It is,“ he whispered. Norman was stirred and scared, because it was difficult to discover, in all the abandonment to the father once.
“marveled at But of but“
His father, as Norman told that he is living in America, and psychology have studied: “This should not, however, Warstein,“ he muttered again and again, sometimes he pushed afterwards: “But more so,“ and was pleased every Time his word is a joke. His short-term memory was poor, the long-term memory still worked, the impression the son had. He wanted to know how the father wanted me to live. “In an apartment with a bed and one or two stove plates, what would be,“ said the.
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Norman Wolf had to go back to two Meetings to America. He knew some that wanted to look in Hamburg to the father, including the girlfriend who regularly travel to him, and with the social authority of a apartment talk wanted to. The Twitter community was sitting still in the first row. They celebrated the reunion, disputes, and embraced the photo on the Norman, the father a kiss on the wool cap presses, you squeezed my fingers crossed that it worked soon with the apartment. The Swiss broadcasting created the concept of a “Twitter tale“.
In March 2019 was the end of Norman wolf’s Job in the United States, he returned to Germany. He quickly realized that a fairy tale could not be and speeches. When he visited the father, wanted to know the social housing, nothing more. He was a free man, and let anyone to make regulations. Then he crashed hard, hurt his hip, shoulder and knee, was taken to the hospital and dismissed as soon as he was sober again. Norman Wolf was telling him that he should be treated properly. The father, who could hardly walk, said: “I’m my own doctor“ and “The dad gets nothing small.“ The son thought back to the blood the thumb and the circular saw ends. He felt no admiration, and more. “Only powerlessness and frustration,“ he says. Also, fear, because of him, tens of thousands sat guests fence in the neck.
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Norman Wolf today 26. He will soon make his Master’s in psychology and as a behavior therapist working.
©Sandra shield guard/star
A Twitter-swarm is insatiable. He gets what he needs to satisfy his curiosity, he can be very uncomfortable. Norman’s swarm had not cheered in vain. He wanted to get a Happy ending on offer. As not much moving after the first celebrated reunion at the beginning of 2018, found some that Norman should take the father her with in the United States, he could not let him just “die“. “Fucking child“ he was called, also it was said: “a guy like him you have to leave!“ As then circulated, Norman had written a book, in the summer of 2019 on the market come*, broke a Shitstorm. Some of the common, the whole story was invented. A announced that he was going to slaughter Norman Wolf ““. Another, brought the homeless father, who had no idea what was going on, in an apartment, shot a proof of the photo and left it to his son to tell you that he had never given his consent for a book, everything is a lie. The solidarity with the homeless people was enormous. The son was covered with hatred.
Norman Wolf looks sad in the lanterns says: He told the father but from the book, and the popped “almost Proud“. As the hurricane whipped around his head, he turned to his Twitter Account to private, only the Followers, he wanted to be in – most could probably see the wool at the end of psychology interested in good old times, what he wrote. He wanted sovereignty over his life.
Happy ending?
in the Meantime, had calmed down a little everything, he says. So the world is in social media: The storm swells, the storm let up, and if you are lucky, exexperienced, disheveled, but alive and well. Wolf has put his Twitter address again open to the public. He thinks for but a little longer, before he loszwitschert. He told, the father said to his book a few days ago, enthused: “The Warstein allowed!“ As a precaution, the company has changed however, is the title image and the photo from the first reunion against a drawing swap. Wolf will soon be his Master’s in psychology and then behavioural therapist to complete. Every few weeks he travels to Hamburg, Germany. He has learned a lot about how his father beats by. He collects bottles for the Deposit, and it is a matter of honor is holding, with no support to get along. That there are people who bring him something to eat, and sometimes also a new set of clothes. He will probably never make a withdrawal. He hopes that the father seeks contact with him, if he needs help, and that he knows always: “There is one who loves me.“ In the Winter he wants to do everything that the father does not have a roof over your head, at least temporarily, so that he freezes to death.
Happy End? Norman Wolf is told that he is much better than it used to be – “because I have certainty“. And he says: “More Happy End is not, perhaps, the savvy of the other.“
*Norman Wolf: “The fish are still sleeping”, Munich publishing group, 240 pages, 14.99 euros
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